Failures...

These last 2 weeks have been rough for me, for whatever reason. I think every holiday season is like this for me. It's supposed to a time to spend with family and give gifts, yes. But the real reason, at least as far as my faith is concerned, is to remember what Jesus did for us, and to remember the wonder of His birth.

In retrospect, however, I got so busy that I barely spent any time at all pondering those things. I forgot to pray, to read the Word, and most of all, I just let some things creep back in on me that never should have. I want so badly to keep the wheels of success turning in my life, and yet, I have been reminded of how absolutely frail I am without my Saviour.

It got me thinking about the blood. In the Bible, the blood was referred to in the Old Testament by way of the sacrificial lamb. In the New Testament, it was the blood of Christ, which washes clean all of our sin. I was thinking in church yesterday about how to switch my mindset from one which seeks to justify my actions through Scripture, to one that seeks out the Scripture for advice on how to live rightly. How do I not take the blood of Christ for granted? Then, it dawned on me that in order to keep my mindset going in the right direction, I have to remember that it was His blood that cleansed my sins. His blood. I think I get so preoccupied with the "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" part, which has often meant "don't judge me, I feel like the Scripture tells me I ca do this," that I forget that Christ gave His own life and blood, literally, to set me free from sin.

If I don't keep that in mind, I tend to let the selfish, self-serving side creep in and take over. It alleviates whatever sense of obligation I have to Christ, because it takes Him and His sacrifice out of the equation. It allows me to justify, or ignore, my own actions through a set of words, and not work out my life through relationship with Christ.

I guess perhaps that was what this Christmas was for. To remind me that I need to remind myself of what Christ did for us, in general, and me, in specific.