Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Where Am I Now?
As the holidays have passed, the New Year begun, and I am taking stock of today moving forward, I am attempting to spur myself on to better things. There are the simple pleasures of learning something new (playing bass), reading more, and spending time with my beloved wife. Then, there are the more complicated measures that I am trying to compartmentalize and work on. I'm in the process of trying to finish my schooling for the ministry so that once our bill-paying is done, I can move on to a more full-time ministry commitment. This brings complications, however, as I find that I am frustrated with the process. I get the material, and understand the weight of my studies. But classes being what they are, the process is not going as smoothly as I may like. I am weighing out the current courses I am taking and simply wondering whether to finish my Global University courses instead. This presents me with various problems, such as my view of their material. Will I learn as much through them as I might through the classes I am currently engaged in? I just want to get done with it. I feel as though my stated goal is slipping through my fingers as time whittles away. I simply want to be where God wants me to be, and currently I am finding that to be a multi-layered conundrum. God, may I simply do what is right, and follow You where You lead me.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Charles Haddon Spurgeon
"Continue in prayer." — Colossians 4:2
It is interesting to remark how large a portion of Sacred Writ is occupied with the subject of prayer, either in furnishing examples, enforcing precepts, or pronouncing promises. We scarcely open the Bible before we read, "Then began men to call upon the name of the Lord;" and just as we are about to close the volume, the "Amen" of an earnest supplication meets our ear. Instances are plentiful. Here we find a wrestling Jacob--there a Daniel who prayed three times a day--and a David who with all his heart called upon his God. On the mountain we see Elias; in the dungeon Paul and Silas. We have multitudes of commands, and myriads of promises. What does this teach us, but the sacred importance and necessity of prayer? We may be certain that whatever God has made prominent in His Word, He intended to be conspicuous in our lives. If He has said much about prayer, it is because He knows we have much need of it. So deep are our necessities, that until we are in heaven we must not cease to pray. Dost thou want nothing? Then, I fear thou dost not know thy poverty. Hast thou no mercy to ask of God? Then, may the Lord's mercy show thee thy misery! A prayerless soul is a Christless soul. Prayer is the lisping of the believing infant, the shout of the fighting believer, the requiem of the dying saint falling asleep in Jesus. It is the breath, the watchword, the comfort, the strength, the honour of a Christian. If thou be a child of God, thou wilt seek thy Father's face, and live in thy Father's love. Pray that this year thou mayst be holy, humble, zealous, and patient; have closer communion with Christ, and enter oftener into the banqueting-house of His love. Pray that thou mayst be an example and a blessing unto others, and that thou mayst live more to the glory of thy Master. The motto for this year must be, "Continue in prayer."
It is interesting to remark how large a portion of Sacred Writ is occupied with the subject of prayer, either in furnishing examples, enforcing precepts, or pronouncing promises. We scarcely open the Bible before we read, "Then began men to call upon the name of the Lord;" and just as we are about to close the volume, the "Amen" of an earnest supplication meets our ear. Instances are plentiful. Here we find a wrestling Jacob--there a Daniel who prayed three times a day--and a David who with all his heart called upon his God. On the mountain we see Elias; in the dungeon Paul and Silas. We have multitudes of commands, and myriads of promises. What does this teach us, but the sacred importance and necessity of prayer? We may be certain that whatever God has made prominent in His Word, He intended to be conspicuous in our lives. If He has said much about prayer, it is because He knows we have much need of it. So deep are our necessities, that until we are in heaven we must not cease to pray. Dost thou want nothing? Then, I fear thou dost not know thy poverty. Hast thou no mercy to ask of God? Then, may the Lord's mercy show thee thy misery! A prayerless soul is a Christless soul. Prayer is the lisping of the believing infant, the shout of the fighting believer, the requiem of the dying saint falling asleep in Jesus. It is the breath, the watchword, the comfort, the strength, the honour of a Christian. If thou be a child of God, thou wilt seek thy Father's face, and live in thy Father's love. Pray that this year thou mayst be holy, humble, zealous, and patient; have closer communion with Christ, and enter oftener into the banqueting-house of His love. Pray that thou mayst be an example and a blessing unto others, and that thou mayst live more to the glory of thy Master. The motto for this year must be, "Continue in prayer."
The New Year
This time of year has never really meant a whole lot to me. I was never one to make resolutions and wait to see how long it would be until I broke them. This year, however, feels a bit different. Allow me to explain.
When I was younger, I had no real need to make big changes. I had no dreams or goals to speak of, no wife, nothing that needed real change. Obviously, these last two years or so have found me married, rededicating my life to the Lord, and for the very first time, seeing a way to pay off my debts, start a family and finally get started on the life I've always wanted.
Tonight, after Beck went to bed, and I had some much coveted alone time, I began to think about this concept of making changes. I used to see it as scary or impossible or the like. However, I have recently taken time to write down the things I'd like to change, before I saw them as resolutions.
I figured out that at our current income level, Beck and I could be majorally debt-free in under two years. I wrote our bills, our monthly income (including most random expenses), and then how much extra money we had free and clear a month. I then showed this to Beck and explained how the process would work and how much free money we'd have when our credit cards and loans were paid off and she got as excited as I felt. Especially considering the financial situation our country is in, there's never been a better time to pay off debt and start socking away money. The biggest benefit to doing this is that we would be able to consider starting a family, which, as I am getting older, is becoming a larger issue.
I want to quit smoking. Now, for those of you who know me, this is quite different from what I would have said even one month ago. Before now, it's always been that I NEEDED to quit, for obvious physical and mental health reasons. Now, I WANT to quit, which I hope makes all the difference in the world. For those of you who are addicted to or have been addicted to nicotine, physically or mentally, you know how important this distinction is. For me, it's not only a comfort habit (nicotine can be a calming drug), but it is a physical addiction. Trying to quit in times past, I've become moody, gotten the shakes (nic-fits, for those in the know), and developed severe headaches. I know what this is going to do to me in the coming months, but it's about time, and I mean that. Plus, this figures into paying off debt. At my current calculations, at a pack a day (being 4.25 a pack), and 30 days a month, plus adding in an additional five packs for the times I smoke more, this equals out to $148.75 a month, or $1,785.00 a year. That's about a sixth of our goal in one year. More incentives are definitely a plus. Also, I'd really like to live to get old (which has become a recent fascination, as odd as that sounds).
I intend to read the Bible more. For as well as I know the Bible, having grown up in a pastor's home and trained for the ministry, I find that daily time in the Word is probably the best medicine for a healthy life. I can never know everything it says. Every time I read it, something new comes up, and for me, being the reader that I am, the concept of filling myself with as much of the Word as possible is appealing. This is just going to take time, which if you're over the age of 20 or so, you realize is an increasingly rare commodity.
I want to finish these Bible courses and get my ministerial license. As much as I love being a technician, I would love to be able to make my calling a part of my vocation. That would be nice.
These seem so normal, putting them in writing, and yet, they sum up so much of what fills my mind of late. The life I want is so close I can feel it. So, it's time to put my nose to the grindstone and get some of it accomplished.
When I was younger, I had no real need to make big changes. I had no dreams or goals to speak of, no wife, nothing that needed real change. Obviously, these last two years or so have found me married, rededicating my life to the Lord, and for the very first time, seeing a way to pay off my debts, start a family and finally get started on the life I've always wanted.
Tonight, after Beck went to bed, and I had some much coveted alone time, I began to think about this concept of making changes. I used to see it as scary or impossible or the like. However, I have recently taken time to write down the things I'd like to change, before I saw them as resolutions.
I figured out that at our current income level, Beck and I could be majorally debt-free in under two years. I wrote our bills, our monthly income (including most random expenses), and then how much extra money we had free and clear a month. I then showed this to Beck and explained how the process would work and how much free money we'd have when our credit cards and loans were paid off and she got as excited as I felt. Especially considering the financial situation our country is in, there's never been a better time to pay off debt and start socking away money. The biggest benefit to doing this is that we would be able to consider starting a family, which, as I am getting older, is becoming a larger issue.
I want to quit smoking. Now, for those of you who know me, this is quite different from what I would have said even one month ago. Before now, it's always been that I NEEDED to quit, for obvious physical and mental health reasons. Now, I WANT to quit, which I hope makes all the difference in the world. For those of you who are addicted to or have been addicted to nicotine, physically or mentally, you know how important this distinction is. For me, it's not only a comfort habit (nicotine can be a calming drug), but it is a physical addiction. Trying to quit in times past, I've become moody, gotten the shakes (nic-fits, for those in the know), and developed severe headaches. I know what this is going to do to me in the coming months, but it's about time, and I mean that. Plus, this figures into paying off debt. At my current calculations, at a pack a day (being 4.25 a pack), and 30 days a month, plus adding in an additional five packs for the times I smoke more, this equals out to $148.75 a month, or $1,785.00 a year. That's about a sixth of our goal in one year. More incentives are definitely a plus. Also, I'd really like to live to get old (which has become a recent fascination, as odd as that sounds).
I intend to read the Bible more. For as well as I know the Bible, having grown up in a pastor's home and trained for the ministry, I find that daily time in the Word is probably the best medicine for a healthy life. I can never know everything it says. Every time I read it, something new comes up, and for me, being the reader that I am, the concept of filling myself with as much of the Word as possible is appealing. This is just going to take time, which if you're over the age of 20 or so, you realize is an increasingly rare commodity.
I want to finish these Bible courses and get my ministerial license. As much as I love being a technician, I would love to be able to make my calling a part of my vocation. That would be nice.
These seem so normal, putting them in writing, and yet, they sum up so much of what fills my mind of late. The life I want is so close I can feel it. So, it's time to put my nose to the grindstone and get some of it accomplished.
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