The New Year

This time of year has never really meant a whole lot to me. I was never one to make resolutions and wait to see how long it would be until I broke them. This year, however, feels a bit different. Allow me to explain.

When I was younger, I had no real need to make big changes. I had no dreams or goals to speak of, no wife, nothing that needed real change. Obviously, these last two years or so have found me married, rededicating my life to the Lord, and for the very first time, seeing a way to pay off my debts, start a family and finally get started on the life I've always wanted.

Tonight, after Beck went to bed, and I had some much coveted alone time, I began to think about this concept of making changes. I used to see it as scary or impossible or the like. However, I have recently taken time to write down the things I'd like to change, before I saw them as resolutions.

I figured out that at our current income level, Beck and I could be majorally debt-free in under two years. I wrote our bills, our monthly income (including most random expenses), and then how much extra money we had free and clear a month. I then showed this to Beck and explained how the process would work and how much free money we'd have when our credit cards and loans were paid off and she got as excited as I felt. Especially considering the financial situation our country is in, there's never been a better time to pay off debt and start socking away money. The biggest benefit to doing this is that we would be able to consider starting a family, which, as I am getting older, is becoming a larger issue.

I want to quit smoking. Now, for those of you who know me, this is quite different from what I would have said even one month ago. Before now, it's always been that I NEEDED to quit, for obvious physical and mental health reasons. Now, I WANT to quit, which I hope makes all the difference in the world. For those of you who are addicted to or have been addicted to nicotine, physically or mentally, you know how important this distinction is. For me, it's not only a comfort habit (nicotine can be a calming drug), but it is a physical addiction. Trying to quit in times past, I've become moody, gotten the shakes (nic-fits, for those in the know), and developed severe headaches. I know what this is going to do to me in the coming months, but it's about time, and I mean that. Plus, this figures into paying off debt. At my current calculations, at a pack a day (being 4.25 a pack), and 30 days a month, plus adding in an additional five packs for the times I smoke more, this equals out to $148.75 a month, or $1,785.00 a year. That's about a sixth of our goal in one year. More incentives are definitely a plus. Also, I'd really like to live to get old (which has become a recent fascination, as odd as that sounds).

I intend to read the Bible more. For as well as I know the Bible, having grown up in a pastor's home and trained for the ministry, I find that daily time in the Word is probably the best medicine for a healthy life. I can never know everything it says. Every time I read it, something new comes up, and for me, being the reader that I am, the concept of filling myself with as much of the Word as possible is appealing. This is just going to take time, which if you're over the age of 20 or so, you realize is an increasingly rare commodity.

I want to finish these Bible courses and get my ministerial license. As much as I love being a technician, I would love to be able to make my calling a part of my vocation. That would be nice.

These seem so normal, putting them in writing, and yet, they sum up so much of what fills my mind of late. The life I want is so close I can feel it. So, it's time to put my nose to the grindstone and get some of it accomplished.