What I Can't Get Out of My Head

For I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I Cor. 2:2.

Late Night Thoughts

I always find it hard to sleep at night. I've never really known the reason why, but as I get older, and try to grow more in my walk with Jesus, I find it's one of the few times when my mind settles down enough to find any semblance of real, coherent thought.

One thing I am really wrestling with tonight is how to live out my walk with the Lord, reach out to people with the Gospel, and yet not straddle so close to the "line," as it were, that I let gravity carry me over to the other side. It's so easy, in the world we live in, to allow errant ways of thinking to subtly shift my view of God. Or, in perhaps better terms, how do we know the Word of God in a way that allows us to stand with conviction and not let the ever-shifting tides of modern philosophy to pollute the process, and yet still be competent in a world that demands we conform?
Lately, the concept of absolute truth has really been weighing on me. Most people my age either have no belief in, or concept of the term. Yet, as I study, and I pray, and I ask questions (both of God and of other people that I trust, not all believers), I am convinced that there is much more belief in absolute truth demanded by the Bible than I may have previously thought.

I don't really believe that the Bible is simply a collection of good stories with a moral point. I believe that what the Bible says is true. Whether the stories are fact is beside the point. I would argue that in person but for the sake of my writing, I won't attempt to open that can of worms. However, everything I read of the message of the Bible rings true with me. I am by no means becoming a puritan, but I think somehow modern Christianity lacks so much of what the New Testament and, for that matter, the Old Testament, demands of us.

In our struggle to understand love and compassion, we may have forgotten to read what is actually said. There are things we are asked to and not to do. It's true. If we love without any expectation of God, we accept the premise of Christ's love and sacrifice, but refuse to follow. We are like the rich young ruler. There was always an urgency to Jesus' call. We may have love, but is it potent? Does it ring true with what Christ did, but also of what He asked of us? If we profess to believe in the call and words and sacrifice of Jesus Christ, but live no differently, have we really gotten the point?

In different ways throughout the Bible, we have been called visitors, temporary residents, in the City of Man, but we are citizens of the City of God. I find it hard to believe, then, that we are supposed to act as though nothing about us is any different because of our belief. I am no saint in this way. I act, most times, as though nothing ever changed the day I accepted Jesus Christ as Lord of my life, and yet, in point of fact, everything changed. It seems I can't make one move without thinking through the step with agonizing detail, scrutinizing. But I don't mind that. It makes me feel somehow more alive. The fact that I can recall most of what has happened the last two years and so little of what happened the previous four or five, proves to me that this change is good. Now, how do I make that change apparent? Or is it even my job to MAKE it appear as anything?

I simply don't know.

The Problem of Divine Inspiration

Tonight, I am grappling with the concept of the Bible being the inspired Word of God, and how to translate the message of the Gospel into a real, working model for today. Or does it need translation? I've often wondered if the need to "update" the Scripture is born out of our culture of immediacy in which if something doesn't translate into 15 second sound bites or requires additional thought, we lose interest.

For myself, part of the allure of the Scripture is that I need to constantly be reading it, studying it, learning the historical context, and hashing it out through real life experience in order to comprehend the small amount that I have so far. Every time I reread a passage, it seems, I find a new angle to see it from. I'm not saying the context or validity changes, I just may notice something I hadn't previously caught onto.

The other problem is one of absolutes. I, among many people, have a hard time accepting absolutes, because believing something to be absolutely true requires a level of obedience unheard of in our modern age. Thus, I have to ask if we question the Truth of Scripture simply because we cannot accept what it asks of us. Do we feel God is wrong when He points out sin? Or when he uses an appointed speaker to do the same? Are we so intellectual that we can match God in a contest of wills?

The older I get, the more I do believe that the Scripture is inerrant. Some may call this foolish. Others may call it idiocy. But I believe God already called that this reaction would happen, in saying that he would use the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.

If the Scripture doesn't cause you to want to pursue love out of obedience, to abhor sin as separation from the wonderful gift of the Holy Spirit, to give to those less fortunate than you, to support the mission of the Church (that is, to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ), then I fear the point is already lost. My life apart from Christ, without the guidance of Scripture, is nothing. It is waiting to die. It is filling a time sheet of meaningless, happy ignorance. Yet, obedience breeds contentment. So, I will continue to read, to study and to pursue obedience though I fail at every turn. This is my life and my mission: to know God and to see others come to know Him as well.

That I Might Make Known The Mysteries of the Gospel

Many of you will recognize this verse as the one that directly follows Paul's address on the Armor of God. This verse has, seemingly effortlessly, dominated my thoughts of late and begun to shape what may soon become one of the cornerstones of my belief in ministry. I've heard a lot of people say that the church has forgotten the meaning of the word "gospel" and the subsequent action demanded thereby. I, on the other hand, would say that until this time of my life, I had never fully grasped what it meant at all. There was simply nothing to forget.

Growing up in the church, I heard the phrase tossed around so much that it became almost a quip, a turn of speech, rather than the life-altering truth that it is. Evangelism, or "outreach," was the buzzword we used to describe nervously asking a friend to church and being nearly embarrassed to death that someone might get "weird" in front of said friend.

It never sank in, not even into my mid-twenties, that spreading the Gospel, the "Good News", of Jesus Christ was giving someone the opportunity to live a life changed by grace. As I read, and write down my thoughts on, the life of Jesus Christ, my feelings towards Him and what He did for us have become sharper, clearer, as though I am undertaking a constant eye exam. You know the one. You put your face up to a crazy machine with tons of prescriptions of lenses inside, and the doctor tweeks them one by one until you reach the optimum clarity of vision. I feel like each day and turn of the page reveals something I either never knew, or never grasped the gravity of in the way Jesus acted, and how He talked. Again, it lends clarity of vision.

Yet, I am still well aware of how I have perceived the effort to "convert" people with rabid persistence. I always have taken the approach to evangelism as though I were the one being reached out to. I remember when a pastor I once knew tipped me with a tract at work, rather than a tip. I thought I would either stop going to church or throttle him then and there, lose my job, and then stop going to church. Either option seemed viable to me.

It has always seemed as though people, devoid of real personal intent, have inadvertently made evangelism more like skeet shooting. Throw the target in the air, shoot it, and Bam! Saved... It wasn't until I met my current pastor that I understood what spreading the Gospel can mean. I don't think we ever had the standard "will you pray and ask Jesus into your heart" talk. Over many coffee meetings and hanging out together, I just simply wanted to know Jesus again. Then, we broached that topic slowly. I needed slow. I don't think I would have survived the experience had I had a youth convention style encounter. I needed real. I needed someone to show me what it meant. Not that my parents didn't. I can't think of two more loving, Godly people I've ever known, but you know how it is with parents. They can't say anything to you. You just have to figure it out.

The point is, my pastor introduced me to what it meant to "do life" with people. Jesus had many times when He spoke and people believed, but He was, after all, Jesus. You know, the Messiah? But think of the others that came along with Him. Peter? Thomas? People who still harbored pretty serious doubts years into following Jesus, but Jesus kept walking with them. I was Thomas. I needed the proof. Not physical proof. Just proof. Having a pastor take a genuine interest in me for no apparent reason was the proof I needed. It showed me what love and compassion looked like. It still to this day is a living example of grace, because even though I stumble all the time, he never gives up on me. Rather than coming down on me and threatening to take away leadership roles, he prays with me. That's what Jesus looks like in the real world.

Now, how can I apply this to all the friendships I've cultivated over my years here? How can I take those friendships to the point where that kind of honesty is possible? How do I know when is the right time to say, are you ready? I want everybody I know to know Jesus in a way that makes sense to them. Not in an "all paths lead to the same road" kind of way. But in the way that Jesus made Himself real to me through the type of friendship I needed when I needed it. The Gospel is Good News. Jesus gave everything, His life included away for us. He made it possible for me to know God in a way no one was able to before He came. He paved the way for the Holy Spirit. I couldn't ask for a better savior.

Asleep In The Light

by Keith Green

Do you see, do you see, all the people sinking down,
Don't you care, don't you care, are you gonna let them drown,
How can you be so numb, not to care if they come,
You close your eyes and pretend the job's done.
Oh Bless me Lord, bless me Lord, you know it's all I ever hear,
No one aches, no one hurts, no one even sheds one tear,
But He cries, He weeps, He bleeds, and He cares for your needs,
And you just lay back and keep soaking it in, oh, can't you see it's such sin?
Cause He brings people to your door,
And you turn them away, as you smile and say,
God bless you, be at peace, and all Heaven just weeps,
Cause Jesus came to your door, you've left Him out on the streets.
Open up, open up, and give yourself away,
You've seen the need, you hear the cry, so how can you delay,
God's calling and you're the one, but like Jonah you run,
He's told you to speak, but you keep holding it in,
Oh, can't you see it's such sin?
The world is sleeping in the dark,
That the church can't fight, cause it's asleep in the light,
How can you be so dead, when you've been so well fed,
Jesus rose from the grave, and you, you can't even get out of bed,
Oh, Jesus rose from the dead, come on, get out of your bed.
How can you be so numb, not to care if they come,
You close your eyes and pretend the job's done,
You close your eyes and pretend the job's done,
Don't close your eyes, don't pretend the job's done.
Come away, come away, come away with Me, My love,
Come away, from this mess, come away with Me, My love.

I've been fascinated with the life and music of Keith Green for some time now, but it's only been recently that I've really listened closely to what he really said. Though I think there's always a balance to be given, and even Keith in his later years admitted he was somewhat brash in his approach, I also think there's a time to allow conviction to speak to you.

This song, in particular, was one I always avoided because I felt it was too preachy and somewhat condescending. Then, as I've gotten older, I see all the same types of things the apostles said on a regular basis. Jesus even rebuked the disciples on several occasions for not being vigilant in their purpose, to see the world come to knowledge of the Son of God. James even said, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." Notice what he said first. To look after widows and orphans in their distress. He put ministering to people as the priority.

I do think that particularly in our generation, we've seen ministry and evangelism in particular as lost arts or as hopeless. We see a world where it's hard to distinguish between someone in need and someone trying to take advantage of you. I suppose the bigger question should be, does that really even matter? Does the person trying to take advantage of you need Jesus less? I would say quite the opposite. Now, in accordance with keeping balance, we should never willingly allow ourselves to be taken advantage of. However, we should look to find ways to turn that into an opportunity for Christ to speak through us. And I'm preaching to the choir here, believe me.

Where I live in Uptown Minneapolis, there's a beggar or group of beggars, situated on just about every corner. If I gave every one of them a quarter every time I passed them, I'd be broke in a couple of weeks. But more disturbing to me is my own tendency to either say something soulless and obligatory to them, or to ignore them altogether. I know this isn't right, but I don't think I've quite figured out how to engage them. Should that mean that I see that as a sign that I'm not meant to? Well, if I look at Jesus and how He was towards people, I'd have to say no. Everyone needs Jesus. Plain and simple. The question is how? How do we meet them where they're at and minister to their needs just as Jesus does to our own?

I think what Keith calls attention to is the tendency to think someone else will do it if we don't. I don't think that's the case. I just have to wrestle with myself about this issue. I'm selfish by nature. I see it all the time. God, allow me to see through Your eyes just once.

New Testament Church Today

I've been thinking about this topic quite a bit lately, mostly because I'm about to begin a course on the Book of Acts. Also, being a part of a small church plant and becoming increasingly involved in leadership there, this subject is a critical one, I think, to understand. When I began to think more heavily about the New Testament church, one area of this has really dominated my thoughts. One word: size.

In a world where there are basically three types of churches, which I will expound on in a moment, size becomes an issue for several critical reasons. These 3 types, staying on the topic of size, can be divided into three distinct categories.

1. The Small Group Church - I would say these churches ranges in size from 1 to 100 people. They tend to be more family focused, with a strong emphasis on community outreach and discipleship. The pastoral staff would most likely consist of one to three pastors, depending on funding, and tend to use church laity as a strong leadership base.

2. The Medium Sized City Church - I would guess that a church in this group would average between 200 and 1500 people. These churches tend to be in sizable cities and focus on event-oriented community outreach and missions giving, with a strong emphasis on teaching. The weekly schedule revolves around a range of age-adjusted meetings and teaching times. The pastoral staff may range from three to six pastors, again with a strong emphasis on laity for leadership and discipleship.

3. The Mega Church - The numbers in a church like this tend to range in the thousands to tens of thousands and, according to most studies, sit nicely in the top 5 percentile of size for churches. These churches tend to be more project-oriented, globally-focused in the way of recreating church plants of its own model elsewhere in the world, and focus on seminar-style services, generally.

Now, understand, much of what I say here is a generality as every church is different, with a specific focus. As every pastor is different, every church will tend to have its own style in worship, service form, functions, etc. However, for the sake of this "article," I feel a need to paint with a fairly broad brush.

In the past, I've always seen the New Testament church as small group-based, communal family unit. The concept of the mega church has always seemed wrong to me until, over many heated debates and calm dialogue, I began to think of its potential. So, let's think about this. A friend of mine made a great point the other day that perhaps one of the biggest reason the churches in Jerusalem and Rome were construed as being small was because of the obvious political pressure and/or persecution happening in the first part of the first century A.D. But, digging deeper, I found that the Scripture never really mentions their size. In fact, it mentions size, in terms of largesse, more often than it specifies whether the meetings were small. Take the story in Acts directly following the upper room experience. It says in Acts 2:6, "And when this was heard the MULTITUDE came together." How do we know this is the church? It says later, in Acts 2:41, "Therefore those who accepted his (Peter's) message were baptized, and there were added that day about 3,000 people. 3,000 people! If you add that to the 120 people from the upper room (Acts 1:15), we're at about 3,120 people. This is just one account, but there are other stories where size is directly mentioned. Why does this matter?

In the past, my reasoning for being somewhat cold toward the idea of a mega church was because I reasoned that there was no way for the pastors to disciple that many people effectively. I still struggle with that thought. And yet, can we cap God's ability to reach the masses. Was it not the Bible that compared evangelism to a field that is ready to harvest. Can you imagine how many stocks of corn or heads of wheat are in a field? If we have faith, which can move mountains, then can God not also use a large church to reach the masses? I, again, used to argue about how many large church pastors often fall into sin publicly and discredit their witness. While this may be true, does God's work always depend solely on the minister? God will see His work done regardless. This doesn't, in any case, let pastors off the hook. I do believe that pastors are to be held to the strictest standards because of what they know and because of what they teach.

However, is this the New Testament model? I don't have any clue. I look, then to the small church model, to which I am more accustomed. At Church In Uptown, our focus has always been on, as Joel puts it, "doing life" with people. In other words, let's live in our community, get to know the people there, establish a solid presence and reputation, then allow those relationships to deepen to the point where Christ becomes the focal point. We've tried to listen to God's voice on the way a service should be done, and when to allow the Holy Spirit to do something we really hadn't planned on. There's a strong emphasis on prayer, both personal and corporate. How does hits play into the New Testament model? Many times, Paul travelled to smaller church groups scattered throughout the world, and again, because of persecution, these churches were small of necessity, more a home-based model. This is presented all throughout his writings.

I guess my point to all of this is that the longer time gets on, and the older I get, I realize that I can no more speak against the mega church model as being less of the New Testament's design than I can the small church model as its perfect design. They both serve functions that reach people on a personal level, mostly in the areas of taste, comfortability and closeness. The difference between a missional church and discipleship-based church is a staggering one, and I think we are all seeking to locate the middle ground between the two. The middle ground where discipleship is key, but missional purpose is also key. How do we reach people on a deep, personal level, and yet and not let the salvation message slip through the cracks, while we "do life" with people? Maybe someday, I'll better understand this ever more important balance.

Go and Sin No More...

This is a hard pill to swallow for me, this quote from Jesus. "Go and sin no more." How is that even possible? The more I think about it, the more I realize how much sinning is built into my nature, not by God, but by what happened at the time of original sin, which is a whole pandora's box of a topic to uncover later.

I mean, think about it, how often do we gossip, lose our tempers, have an impure thought, say an unkind word or something profane? More than I think any of us would care to admit. But there's so much more to what Jesus said than just that one simple phrase.

Let's take a look. In John 8, Jesus went to the temple courts near the mount of Olives, for what purpose John didn't say. The Pharisees, looking to trap Jesus in His words, as was their preferred method of trying to get Him to trip up, brought a young woman into the temple, a woman accused of adultery. They taunted Jesus by saying, "Hey, the law of Moses says that we should stone this woman, what say you?" Jesus, never being one to allow himself pulled into such legalistic arguments said, "Let you who is without sin cast the first stone."

Okay, let's stop here. Imagine a time in your life when you or someone you know tried to trap someone with words, and the other person shoots back calmly with a reply you simply cannot deny the logic of. How belittled did you feel? Now, imagine Jesus, a man in His thirties, shooting this back at the Pharisees, some of whom John leads us to believe are not quite so young. They were thunderstruck. I can imagine that in that moment, you could have heard a pin drop a mile away. What could they have said? The Bible says that one by one, starting with the oldest, the Pharisees dropped their stones and fled the scene. Stunning, really.

What happened next, though is what really amazes me about Jesus. Jesus, standing from where he had been writing in the sand (I always wondered what it was that he wrote), looks at the woman and asks, "Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she replies.

"Then, go and sin no more." What do you say to that? It was without doubt a command, but one with promise. Jesus knew she would sin one day. But it was what He knew at that moment that she didn't that is so great. We don't necessarily know at what point Jesus became aware of the fact that He would act as a sacrifice for our sins, but I have to believe He already knew it at this point. Jesus hinted at the possibility of purity. The reality of forgiveness. When I began to realize this, it was simply earth shattering to me. Jesus has always paved the way for right standing with God in our lives. He made it possible for one on one communion with God. Up until Jesus, only one priest had that right, for the whole nation of Israel. Now, Jesus, has made it possible for us to approach God blameless. He made it possible for us to sin... no... more.

I don't think I'll ever completely understand what Jesus did. But that's what makes study fun. There's always another stone to turn over.